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Zvibhombo / Zvitsvinyo

Society & Culture | By Baynham Goredema, Designer | 04 April 2013

An idea came to me while we were discussing with my wife about  Zvibhombo/Zvitsvinyo from way back whereby you would have verbal battles with an opponent and the person who ran out of Zvibhombo/Zvitsvinyo first would be defeated. People would usually declare war when they had a COUPLE of really good ones. Sometimes these verbal battles degenerate into fist fights on account of audiences egging the losing side on. I created a Facebook group to have a mass war on the wall. It was strictly a non-derogatory platform which had its first post on the 27th of September 2008. After 183 members and 100 posts on 13 January 2010, the page was closed. This article is a rendition of all the posts on the Facebook page during the period. Enjoy! 



Wayne Sanderson
- You are so dumb that you thought News Café was a bookshop.
- You are so thin that you can do press ups under the door.
- You are so thin that you have to dance around in the shower to get wet
- You’re so short you buy your clothes from PEP
- You’re so ugly the zoo animals feed you
- You so fat when you go to the movies you sit next to everyone!

Rodney Kudzayi Musariri 

- Mese kusviba kunge vanhu vanonhonga mabhonzo  

Ashley Chimbarami 

- Eddy nzeve dzakaramwa musoro.
- Mukamwa mune man`a!

Christine Matambo
- Kuonda kunge nhunzi irikubva kunozvara
- Vakayi, kusviba zvekuti ukabata mwana anobva arara achifunga kuti kwadoka  
- You are so old zvekuti you have photos of Adam and Eve as your classmates

- Matama anenge pfuko dzehwahwa hwepandari 

- Demba,wakasviba zvekuti ukapfurwa bullet rinodzoka richiti ndashaya munhu 

- Ma lips anenge bumper regonyeti
- Kumeso kunenge foot print ye dhadha
- Mudhara wako ndibuilder asi munorara muchamber.


Chanetsa Mukahanana
- Kushata kunge ndowe yatsikwa nebhazi
- Door renyu ndere banana zvikanzi gogogoi, hamuti pindai, munoti "Menyai"
- Kumusha kwenyu kunonaya hwahwa, chibage chinokura chakadhakwa
- Baba vako imonya vanogeza neblanket.

Frank Mungure 

- Tsapfu dziri muhapwa.
- Kushata kunenge chembere yakagarira tsono ichidya malemon.

- Maziziso anenge nhunguru dzisina kuibva

Paddington Dzikamai Phiri 

- Kushata kunenge chigubhu che Mazoe chakatsva!
- Kushata kunenge chembere yakatarisa kuzuva
- Ndosaka wakareba zvekuti ukagumburwa nhasi unozodonha mangwana
- Ndosaka wakanyepera ambuya vako kuti corner nechishona inonzi "nzvee"
- Mumba menyu muri two asi unochemera kurara pakati

Erhuardt Muchemwa

- Matama kunge dumbu redafi.
- Mhino inenge chibhakera chaMike Tyson 


Adelaide Chikuhwa Mukahanana 

- Une mawoko eMargarine asi unofarira kudziya moto

Tawanda Shangwa
- Ndebvu dzinenge kabroom kakupera!

- Wakanzi uuye ne any old stuff kuchikoro iwe wakuenda naambuya vako!

Faffy Maphosa 

- Unongoti ziguvhu renge mhodzi yekotapeya

Tau Kurebwa

- Une bhutsu dzeround dzakanyorwa kuti fembera fembera mberi ndokupi

Marshall Tonderai Chisango  
- Mazino anenge mapadza evaroyi

Baynham Tanaka Goredema 

- Mateya anopinda jongwe richitamba chitekete
- Kusviba kunenge pasi pepoto yeroja
- Mhino dzinopinda matatya achitamba codesa 


Vakayi Tawengwa

- Tsapfu dzine matumbu
- Kuwonda kunenge huku yakapfeka skin tight

Tawz Pokerhontus 

- Your mama is so fat two cars can park in her shadow