I did, I did not

Poetry | By Barbra Anderson, Poet | 31 October 2014

 I did, I did not
I knew a woman once
But I did not know her.

I wish to be like the baobab branch
That breathes in the nothingness of the air.
That twists and turns
To the melody of the night before.
To truly flow,
To be
While listening
Embracing that tune in my head.
Embracing the tremors inside,
Wishing to truly breathe.

-One breathe, two breaths-

Sometimes to love is to die.
I loved once but I died inside.
I cared once
But I lost the care for myself.
I loved but I never truly did.
I forgot to breathe once,
I forgot to see
Beyond these imaginary walls.
The pain was real
But I found a way to breathe again.

I did not love this woman, I,
But I did.

All thoughts grow and float,
My thoughts grow and float
To that place where I am but I am not
But what is and is not correct?
To love and to hate equally?
To not know pain and to know pain?
With thoughts of grandeur
All that is me is the picture
Of my dreams,
Picture of my hopes.

I knew a woman once
But I did not know her.

I who is haunted
Like the woman I saw last.
I saw her through the looking glass
But I did not think more of her.
I did not dare dwell on her life.
Her life that is struggle,
Her life that is restriction,
Her life that sees dreams as a luxury.
But I am the dreamer,
The day dreamer.

-One breathe, two breaths-

All that is me
Is the picture of my dreams,
Picture of my hopes
Deftly
Imprinted into my heart
And my mind.
I will learn to fly again.
I did so once
When I was but a babe.
I will learn to fly again.

I did not embrace this woman, I,
But I embraced her.