The Marriage Ring

Society & Culture | By Desmond Munemo, Relations | 02 October 2015
PHOTO: © Baynham Goredema

When a man and a woman come together to express their desire to spend the rest of their lives together and exchange vows, it is a beautiful thing. The couple usually show confidence in their marriage plan and promise to remain committed to their union until death separates them. In all this, I have observed the importance attached to a wedding ring, be it an engagement or marriage ring. Most, if not all, couples wear their rings with pride and a sense of commitment. Some couples prefer big shiny rings that draw the attention of everyone who come their way, whereas others feel comfortable wearing tiny rings that are less visible. 

While I respect the choice of rings couples prefer, I am often times disappointed by the poor levels of commitment demonstrated by married people – particularly men. It is sad to notice how the once precious ring worn with confidence and appreciation of marriage principles quickly loses its symbolic values of love, trust and commitment. It is even more disheartening to witness a man wearing his marriage ring unashamedly engaging in extra marital affairs. You only wonder what drives such a man to do such shameless acts.  

It is not my intention to portray every single married man as a culprit in all cases of infidelity but rather to share my observation regarding the culture of unfaithfulness that is seemingly becoming popular and acceptable in society. It is demoralizing to see a married man whom you know has a loving wife and a beautiful family pursuing a senseless love affair which only compromises his long standing marriage. In most cases, it is unfortunate that victims of infidelity are the last ones to know about the unacceptable behaviour their partners are engaging in. In their dilemma, the victims continue serving their husbands diligently by continuing with their daily marital duties with the intention to remain committed to their vows and save their marriage. 

 

While society perceives men and women as equal in marriage, I disagree. I argue that it is the duty of every married man to give direction to marriage. In my observation, it is when a man fails to lead his family that a marriage begins to show signs of weakness. If not dealt with carefully and quickly enough, such circumstances may give rise to the ideas of separation or divorce. It is therefore important for every young or old man to understand and appreciate the leading role that they play in marriage. The idea of having a mistress should never be tolerated or seen as fashionable. Rather, when such trying times arise, it is when one’s wedding ring should serve as a reminder of the vows and commitment they professed towards their marriage, not to easily fall for the temptation. 

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